my electronic pen ... what i write when no one is looking.
november then
december now
and welcome 2000, to one, and to all.
DECEMBER 31 1999 - the time has come!!
as we drink our green tea and we launder the clothes
all watch all the clocks because nobody knowss
what this dragon year brings as my own history goes
into digits of teens, more archaic than old
it's not so futuristic, in the present, this 2000
less scary than electronic bugs and of course
less feted than some...
it's
not so futuristic, in the present, this 2000
the
Earl Grey still warm and the 'puter still hot
this
little poot sits very still in her spot
SHE
stares at the green on the screen as it glows
and
wishes she still knew what she knew that she knows
from the mEp, Poot's Place, MoonPals, and all other things
digital belonging to little Poots ...
happy ignorant bliss to all :-)
and peace on earth in my mind too
but don't get me wrong. in one punch, i'm more thankful for
everything i have and everything i have done than speakable.
and, in a perverted way ruled partly by my genes, partly by
my flair for disguised literature, my thanks and words of
blessings are strewn on this page, however contorted :-\
a phone call from friends in the distance reminds
me of my
current struggle between being pumped up and
getting every-
thing done; which is what i have been pursuing
for 34 years,
and the unavoidable fact that i just don't
have that much energy
any more. i sent not one christmas card this
year. our tree got
decorated today. the lights went up yesterday.
no food has been
cooked, save a few vegetable dishes to be
brought to my sisters.
i'm compaing these activites with what did
take up my energy
and the only one task i can lay to blame is
WORK. won't that
be a great claim to fame for the future, 'missed
life due to work'.
that's not fair, i suppose, but in this day
and age it's a laudable
excuse. bah.
the house is semi-clean. things are semi-done.
the outside
doesn't show the difference. chocolates with
orange goo inside
still look delicious. the orange goo still
feels gooey.
no one has plans for new years and it's 1999. argh.
it's time to get me a new job, can't yo utell? :-)
i don't doo status quo very well. i don't do
'doing' my job
adequately. i don't 'do' sitting in my office
being happy that
i have a job. i just haven't yet found the
business that burns
my fire.
what other scribblings will i make on this
digital cave before
the digits all change?
light snow has spray-painted the vehicles,
the amount of electronic
equipment in front of me, old and new, is
enough to irradiate a small
village, and we're both really sick of being
so clean.
so that is about it for this nearly the last
day of 1999.
we can leave this last millenium as one that
marked many
of our lives' activities, the only 1900's
we'll ever know,
parting with them inevitable but sad because
they leave
behind the time when the date actually mattered.
in peace,
poots
i will be back before the end of the millenium.
what they might consider 'accurate information'
december 16th - since i like to mention birthdays
looking, looking, for more time.
the mexican neighbours away for navidad;
the birth of the King of Kings:
a debate to come! - will hopefully bring home
some
interesting thoughts about it or perhaps at
least dull ones.
what are those honest, creative thoughts running thru my mind
are there any when there's none?
i've time to spend, now, although it doesn't
all depend on
time to spend. i don't have time to spend
giving too much
energy to an organism which chews and spits.
perhaps true
defiance to values of my father's that I mightily
respect and
strive for; spent 33 years devoting himself
to one beast.
but i think my bitsy wisdom tells me differently.
some things
do change. they can't have me - i'm the parasite,
not them.
:-)
people are missing around me - the Irish one
too busy,
the construction one with a new man,
the beautiful girl on the bus a distant 500
miles to the
west, and miss wee-wee whyte also quiet some.
thinking with missing thoughts yesterday about
the gay one, the one i don't think of much
but with
bittersweet adieus. i suppose the lost ones
are the
saddest although i am quite certain she is
happier
this way.
these
are the thoughts of a girl who dreams about
strange events in her mother's backyard;
who dreams of having the desire and the root
energy
to come up with some brilliant words for the
end of this
century and millenium- and who doesn't have the
creative
energy to do what she feels is right, only being
stripped
by a world she herself decided to enter.
people are not reacting to it because they
just can't fathom it,
that's all. 2000 is a big number when you've
been living in
19-somethings for a thousand of years...
and one more thing, i know what's happening
with the children.
but i can't tell you now.
it's not necessarily a bad thing.
DECEMBER 05 1999 december
caught me off guard - on guard for our native
perhaps the WORLD WIDE WEB is
not for me.
and that's why we stay here, grasping on with
i guess green is christmassy. it's not been long that
many plans on hold now while i spin around trying to
NO FREEDOM HERE EITHER she says. |
SHE
Elvis Costello